


Quotidian Thoughts

by one2san



Category: Original Work
Genre: Poetry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 09:15:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25967230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/one2san/pseuds/one2san
Summary: Personal poetry I just wanted to share. Will probably cover a variety of topics but mostly my own emotions and philosophical questions. Open to criticism and any comments!
Comments: 10
Kudos: 3





	1. To you

To the you that exists merely in my mind

Each day passing another day closer to you

I guess that’s how time is designed

At least in my point of view

To the you that I haven’t met yet

Each day passing another day with a better me

I guess I’ll never forget

Rising from this internal debris

To the you that I think of at night

Do you ever think of me?

And how our love will take flight?

Or sail out to sea?

I wonder so often

With each passing hour

Who will be next to my coffin

The first to bring a flower

But these are the world’s mysteries, not mine

I’ll try to take each new rejection as merely a sign

I know you’re out there, even if I doubt

Because I guess that’s what love’s about


	2. Time

What is time?

Other than one of life’s crimes?

Moments, one after another

It makes you wonder

Are we wasting each second in our heads?

Our body following each motion without notice

How many of our days have been misread?

With nobody there to save us?

My head used to cloud with worries

Surrounding my mind in flurries

But I recognize each moment as precious now

That at least I can allow

Is tomorrow more important than today?

Does time spent with you matter more than time alone?

Am I really the one to say?

When time is the one thing we cannot own

Today. Tomorrow. Yesterday.

Time never has a delay

I can only try to live in this moment

And try my best to control it


	3. Heartbreak

how can a heart be broken so many times?

is it not just one organ, with only one life?

does it even have time to fully mend,

before being broken again?

what makes love so worth it?

to test out so many times,

if all of them are unfit

each with their own crime

how many times can a heart be broken?

before it shrivels up and dies

and no longer has words spoken

towards its own demise

how long does it take for a heart to be put back together?

the puzzle pieces all in place

where they only have each other

to fully grasp and embrace

if you need a heart to live, then i ask this:

do you only fall in love for the feeling of bliss?

or for the other person, whoever they be,

to show their own sensitivity?

despite how many times hearts break

despite how many moments feel like mistakes

we love because we’re human,

acting as our one true universal union


	4. One Second

why do some seconds feel longer than others?

when all of them are the same length

some seconds can do wonders

others need every ounce of strength

how much can you absorb in one second?

just in front of you, or more?

all of our seconds are connected

that you cannot ignore

some seconds feel as though three hours have passed

others share the same beauty as stained glass

sometimes one second is more than enough

other times one second can only cover so much

one second, two seconds, three seconds, four

how many seconds are worth keeping score?

and how many seconds should we live and regret?

how many seconds are in our mind’s debt?

this second and that second, life goes on

counting the seconds, minutes, hours, beginning before dawn

no matter how long each second feels, there is no turning back

this is all we can do on life’s roller coaster track


	5. Firsts

can you ever be too late?

everybody’s life moves at its own pace,

but do “first”s have an expiration date?

are the fastest the winners in life’s race?

can I have my first kiss at twenty-five?

can I get my license at thirty-one?

would I even feel alive?

or would I be too late in the long run?

society judges based on experiences of a select few

with the expectation that everybody will just make do

where they feel isolation and disgust if ever so slow

the origin of this judgement I may never know

are you ever too old to have a “first”?

or will society make you feel accursed,

forced to move faster to catch up to its pace,

only to have your weaknesses thrown in your face.

everybody is different, that is a universal truth

so then why do we romanticize our youth?

with so much emphasis on numbers,

choices made while immature dictate the eyes of others

I worry that my “first”s may come with too much age

and that society will put me on their last page

hidden in the footnotes with only a mention

“she’s the one that deserves no attention”


	6. creatures in the night

like creatures in the night

the thoughts swarm my head

they mostly appear with no light

and no warnings spread

i call them the spiders of my mind

crawling in at random places to scare me

they make my internal sight blind

and my body urges to flee

i thought i had squashed them all,

a long time had passed since i’ve seen one

but they’ve multiplied in new breeds big and small

and i wonder the time they’ll be done

i wonder when this battle will be won

or if i’ll succumb to the fear as i did before.

i do know i cannot try to run

as this is an essential internal war

those creatures in the night

they can put up a good fight

but i’ve won in the past

i just need to learn how to make that last 


	7. when will you leave?

how long does it take for you to leave my mind?

will you ever truly leave it?

how long will i feel confined,

to a love deemed unfit?

i feel nothing for you anymore

that i can guarantee

but when do i stop reminiscing the before,

when do i finally feel free?

when my mind empties, you are still there

i wish someone could tell me why,

someone to answer my prayers.

but the best i can do is try

you live in my mind for no reason

a version of you with a version of me long dead to the past

i try my best to believe in,

i will eventually be free at last

but today i still ponder, when will you leave?

thinking of you hurts me no longer,

but for the past i still grieve.

will all of this time just make me stronger?


	8. how much does it take?

how much self-love do I need for my insecurities to go away?

how much does it take?

why do they always stay?

will I ever get a break?

I felt better for so long

I felt more alive than ever before

but when will I no longer feel wrong

when will life no longer feel like a chore

I love myself in nearly every way now

so why do they keep coming back?

it’s as if I made some kind of vow,

or an internal contract

is it because they’re innate in my being?

a piece of my internal framework,

with no way of me agreeing,

or feeling any kind of perk

do I just live with them forever?

are they just the shadow to my soul?

I feel such an immense pressure

with eradicating them as my goal

so really, how much self-compassion does it take,

to clear out the basement of your mind,

to let yourself be fully awake,

and no longer feel confined?

I wish I knew the answer, I really wish I did

but from me the answers to these questions always hid.

I guess the devils inside can only be located,

while they leave me continuously devastated.


	9. October Day

Warm air and a soft breeze

Hot afternoons that slowly cease

Birds’ voices harmonizing with the wind in the trees

Weather still warm enough for flowers to bring bees

A yard with leaves of all shades of brown

Cascaded like a collage on the ground

Sun blanketing my body as I sit

But wind cool enough for a relaxing fit

Schoolwork runs at the back of my mind

But I’m ahead enough to have this time

The air feels alive as I take each breath

Giving me reasons I will be ok

And that I still have awhile to go before death

In this I feel there is no better way

For me to rest on this October day


	10. drunk on despair

do you ever feel the same drunk as you do while sad?

i do. both envelope in the depths of night

both create times i wish i never had

both appear to me with a strong might

they impair my vision

and make me question my decisions

regret and anxiety always show up as well

altogether they can make me feel like hell

however, i am so lucky to rarely feel both at once

sadness and alcohol should not intermix

you must be careful to avoid such stunts

since your problems only you can fix

beware of despair when it knocks on your door

keeping you up at night just like three shots

every second more difficult to ignore

creating a stomach full of knots

beware of drunk texts and stumbling around

they disorient you just like sorrow

every second waiting to lie down

and try for a better tomorrow


	11. Language Development

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a final psychology project describing our favorite idea from the class and surprise surprise, I wrote a poem! I liked it a lot so I'd think I'd share it.

We all can speak at least one language

But have you ever wondered

How our baby minds managed

Without becoming flustered?

The second we’re born we’re put into this environment

Surrounded by different sounds at all angles

But our brain does this amazing thing to not get frightened

Or become too mangled

As an embryo our brains create billions of neurons through neurogenesis

And we build more synapses than ever before through synaptogenesis

In a strong burst that lasts from birth until around age three

There is no guess at why babies are filled with so much glee

Myelination of the axons increases the transmitters’ speed at a rapid pace

Thus all of the new information babies’ minds can process with grace

Although mostly from genetics, environment also plays a large role

In whether your baby will speak one language or be multilingual 

The world around them has so many new sights and sounds

The strength of the synapses knows no bounds

And so in the beginning babies know every language

You can even help them to use this advantage

By listening to them and giving them attention and care

All while speaking two languages, one in the morning and one at night

This difference urges their brains to compare

The most common sounds that occur together so they can get it right

But do not be fooled, babies require this social interaction to truly take on the challenge

There is no other way for them to absorb the most vital knowledge

Or the synaptic pruning would take over and rid them of these abilities

Impacting the foundation of their future growth possibilities

You see, babies’ brains adapt to thrive in the environment they’re surrounded by

This perceptual broadening allows them to distinguish the languages they need

So as they grow older their vocabularies can multiply

Influencing them to flourish and succeed

But earliest after birth, babies can distinguish all

Their brains work hard to judge the semantics and syntax of the most necessary sounds

Making synaptic pruning get to work so they can recall

Only the most essential word compounds

Even more amazing of a feat, babies’ minds do statistics

Their brains recognize common patterns and mouth shapes

Finding meaning between all of the familiar characteristics

Their minds can internalize meanings very quickly

That is why children tend to overuse the past tense “-ed”

Since their minds generalize these meanings across all words and phrases swiftly

This is a natural occurring experience of the brain to be misled

But no matter the language, make sure to speak to your child in “parentese”

The slow pace, high pitch, and exaggerated phonemes make it a breeze

For the babies to distinguish the words and phrases needed for a bright future

So they can make the whole world their adventure

Now you and I can help our children grow healthy and strong

Speaking languages they’ll need for our most globalized generation yet

We can grow their minds so they can succeed all life long

The differences in sounds their minds will never forget


End file.
